A Farmer is for Life, Not Just for Christmas

Being a farmer's wife is fun, don't get me wrong, but there are some things that we can all relate to when we have this 'label'. Farmers are an unique breed and it depends which "funny farm" they grew up on, to how much of the force is in them.
For a bit of fun i asked a few of my FWAG's (Farmer's wives & girlfriends) to tell me how they know they are married to farmer.... Please note these are not edited, they mad me laugh and pretty much all of them happen here!
Feel free to comment below and add your twist, all for one, and one for all!
 
1.
Hmmm- when his idea of a family day out is going to TFM to buy a new chainsaw (kids might get to look longingly at the Britains toys there if they're lucky!) via checking the cows on the way and having a nice walk on the way back (checking out every fence line/ crop of neighbouring farm obvs!) oh and finding spanners/ pen knives/ grain in the bottom of the washer on a regular basis!)

​2.
1. Car journeys are usually quite slow and often have some near misses due to husband looking over others peoples hedges to assess what they are doing; 2. He knows way too many people so we spend lots of time talking to 'thingamejig' from 'you know where' when we do have any trips out; 3. Any gardening carried out at home is only ever completed with machinery.
 
3.
Your new home always comes fully furnished, complete with carpets, sofas curtains & crockery previously owned by the in-laws/ deceased grandmother.....wow betide you suggests removing it as you quite like to do a bit of decorating yourself!! X

4.
Milk tickets on the table, ear tags on the table, trail of straw up the stairs, go to the cinema and he falls asleep in the first 10mins
 
5.
Oil seed rape everywhere- the vacuum cleaner is in heaven.
Dust clouds on the carpet where he dumps his clothes on the floor.
Do not have white towels....
Taking the children 'grain swimming'
Riding great grandmother' mobility scooter around the empty sheds

6.
Wellies always in the car, you never know when u will be called to do something, the ability to stand in about 20 different places when moving stock, the constant wonder of how anything is still standing when u find nuts and bolts in the boilersuit on a weekly basis..taking the kids for a picnic in the silage field whilst feeding 9 men a hot dinner out of the car boot...

7.
You get a weather forecast in bed every morning summarised from three different weather apps before you've barely opened your eyes and the car always has a whiff of silage about it even when you've not been near any x
 
8.
There's a muddy boot trail through the boot room, utility and across the kitchen floor within moments of the floor being cleaned. You have to listen to endless drivelling discussions about tack, what the best make is, whose bought what, what's broken down.... you are sent on a mission to pick up said replacement parts with little detail or direction! You normally have an in-law of some description living within a few hundred metres!.....

9. 
When  you get married all your old YFC friends greet you with a guard of honour made up of pitchforks, every none farming guests suddenly turns into a mad photographer, as this is not normal in the 'city'!
 
If any of you wonderful farmers are reading this, these are not criticisms,  they are loving observations.

I do think we should give the lads some credit (and you can find the sick bag if you want) - I know I am married to a farmer when he does make the effort to get home on time and tidy himself up as my heart skips a bit at what I see under all that grease and shit and I know I am the luckiest lady on the planet! On the flip side knowing how a farmer loves his cows I should be quite safe!!

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